Here is a piece of writing I have done this week. We had to use complex sentences, short sharp sentences and placing commas in the correct place, And use paragraphs you did not have to but I decided to. We had to do base our writing on this photo. Here is my writing, Hope you enjoy.
As I set off out of Auckland on an adventure. Lonely. I find a jetty. The sky looks sad. Just like me. When I take my shoes off, I step onto the rough, jagged, old, rusty floor, my feet feel like they are crumbling off. Why did I come? The sea may be flat but it looks cold. I will still do this.
I hesitate, to jump off. Push, heave, scamper. Then I fly up up and up, slowly starting to drift towards the water “I have never done this, Oh no, did I want to do this, why am I doing this?”. I may look like I am fling like a bird but I do not care. My back has just clicked. “Ouch”. seems bent.
Now I am close. I yell “help” but it was too late. Splash. Ouch. As I belly flopped into the water, just then I realised there was no way back up. After I had looked around for a while, I found a little post that is held the jetty up. There are little posts coming off it I should try hold on and climb up to the jetty. I made it.
“I wondered, ‘What should I do now? Should I try again. I may aswell. Here I go.” 1,2,3. Off I go. While I am going flying down to the water, I wonder could I do a bomb? No. Well this may be fun. but I need to get home. I am in the water now. Although I am in the water, I cannot find the post that has the little ladder parts coming off it.
“Oh no” I am starting to panic. Just as I thought I was alone….mum came running out on to the jetty and yelled “I have been looking for you every where”. “Mum I cannot get up. Do you have a rope? Chuck it down”... While mum is looking for the rope, I start look around a bit more. I found the ladder. “Don’t worry mum I can get up.”
After I got up mum and I headed for home, it felt a lot quicker. This has been a long day. Although I may have felt unhappy at the beginning, I am happy now I have jumped off there. I may have suffered a little.